Source of Enlightenment

FORGIVENESS

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"How Radical Forgiveness Works"

By Colin Tipping

Ordinary forgiveness is 'letting bygones be bygones'. A certain willingness to forgive is implied but the belief something wrong
happened is never questioned. “You did that to me, but I’ll let you off the hook and forgive you.”

Research based at Seattle University, WA showed that ordinary forgiveness:

(a) is universally difficult.

(b) takes a long time - typically years. (Success was defined as finally feeling peaceful about the situation.)

(c) The more people tried to ‘will’ forgiveness, the longer it took.

(d) Most people required extensive therapy before any movement occurred at all.

Radical Forgiveness on the other hand, has none of these difficulties. It can be virtually instantaneous; it is easy to
do; it requires no therapy and very little intelligence beyond being able to follow some very simple steps.

Holding on to the belief that ‘a crime’ has occurred while trying to forgive gives traditional forgiveness the quality of
an oxymoron. How can you can possibly forgive if you are invested in that judgment? No wonder it takes years! Qualities
of compassion, humility and tolerance move us towards it, but they do not, in my view, constitute forgiveness itself. So when
it does finally occur maybe time has simply worn down our attachment to our judgments. When we say “time heals”
perhaps we are recognizing that we will some day simply become weary of holding on. But oh, what a struggle!

Radical Forgiveness, on the other hand, is easy and instantaneous because it is a shift in perception that allows
you to understand that, in truth, looked at from the perspective of the spiritual ‘big picture,’ nothing wrong ever happened.

What brings about such a radical shift in perception - especially in situations where one feels very vicitimized and
hurt? Surprisingly, it requires only a willingness to accept the possibility that life is not simply a series of random and
haphazard events but is, in fact, the unfoldment of a Divine plan that is unfolding for us exactly how it needs to unfold for
our spiritual growth. In other words, every event, however pleasant or unpleasant, has been called forth by a Higher Aspect
of ourselves that knows exactly what we need for our own healing. When we live more out of that idea than the victim
story, life begins to work perfectly.

So how do we get there? Well, lack of forgiveness is nothing more than stuck energy, caused by past judgments, criticisms,
blame and resentments. The way forward is use tools or processes that help us release that stuck energy, raise our vibration and
become the loving beings we have the potential to be.

THE PROCESS OF RADICAL FORGIVENESS. In my workshops, I help people to shift the energy and move into Radical Forgiveness by
basically following these five steps:

1. Tell the Story: You must begin from where you are. You are a spiritual being having a human experience that involves
emotional experiences. We make it up that emotions are undesirable and wrong, so when we get upset about something we
make up a ‘victim’s story’ and blame others for our unhappiness. Having that story heard and witnessed is the first
step to letting it go. Likewise, the first step in releasing victimhood is to own it fully. So, in this step, you tell your
story, and it is honored as your truth in the moment.

2. Feel the Feelings: Here you are encouraged to feel the feelings. It is the vital step that many so-called spiritual
people want to leave out thinking that they shouldn’t have ‘negative’ feelings. That’s denial and misses the crucial
point that the feelings is where the authentic power is and that our strength, in fact, lies in our vulnerability and our
willingness to show up as fully human. You cannot heal what you don’t feel. When people access their pain, this is the
beginning of their healing.

But this is not necessarily digging up the past. In fact, doing so is not necessary at all. Whatever is upsetting you now
represents the past and following the feelings (the energy), as they are occurring while you tell your story, automatically
heals the past pain. It is not even necessary to know what the original pain was. That’s why I say that Radical Forgiveness
requires no therapy.

3. Collapse the Story: This takes the power out of the victim story you made up. The Navajo Indians had a ceremony for doing
this. Anyone with a grievance could come to the circle three times to tell their story, and they would be heard. On the
fourth occasion everyone would turn their backs. “Enough already! Your story is just a story. There’s no real truth to
it - it is just an illusion. We have heard it three times and we no longer wish to give it power. Let it go and then let yourself
move towards what is really true.”

4. Do a Radical Forgiveness Reframe: Here we replace the ‘illusionary’ story with another story - the Radical
Forgiveness ‘story.’ This one says that what appeared to have happened, far from being a tragedy, was in fact exactly
what we wanted to experience and was in that sense, absolutely perfect.

This is often very difficult to accept, but the good thing is it does not require you see WHY it is perfect, or that you must GET
the lesson involved. It is nearly always beyond our ability to comprehend anyway, so it's a waste of time trying to figure it
out. Willingness is all that is required You just have to be willing to open to the idea that there is a gift in it
somewhere, and then choose peace. It really is that simple. When we get used to thinking this way, it’s amazing how simple and
easy life becomes. It’s so freeing to stop resisting (judging) life and surrender to what wants to naturally occur. Life with
Radical Forgiveness can be very sweet.

5. Integration: After you have allowed yourself to be willing to see the perfection in the situation, it is necessary to
integrate that change at the cellular level. That means integrating it into the physical, mental, emotional and
spiritual bodies so it becomes a part of who you are. It’s like saving what you have done on the computer to the hard
drive. Only then will it become permanent. I find that breathwork is the best way to integrate this work and I seldom
ever do a Radical Forgiveness workshop without what I call a ‘Satori’ breath session. Other ways to integrate is through
speaking affirmations, walking, doing forgiveness worksheets, ritual and ceremony.

In the Forgiveness Tools section of my book I give extensive instruction on how to use the forgiveness worksheet. This simple
tool embodies all the above steps and has proven most effective in helping people to shift the energy around situations. The
same is true of a process called The 13 Steps to Forgiveness, which is the same process but on CD. It simply requires you to
listen to 13 questions to which you answer "Yes." It sounds so simple - and it really is. But it is also extremely powerful.

Radical Forgiveness is the only real forgiveness. It is simple, quick and brings immediate relief. This forgiveness is permanent
and when one has integrated it well enough into everyday life for it to become a way of life, life becomes infinitely less
stressful, more peaceful and a whole lot happier.

About the author:
Colin Tipping is the creator of one of the most powerful leading-edge technology for personal and spiritual growth -
Radical Forgiveness . Visit www.radicalforgiveness.com to learn more about Colin and other Radical Forgiveness strategies.

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